30 & beyond

I've noticed lately that the most frequent emotion that I feel is anger. My original sentence was that the only thing I feel is anger , but that did not sound politically correct, and the last thing I want to do today is to explain myself to others. Yes, I've had a bad day. Yes, I will talk about it. I apologize, but I have to pour it on you, because when I got home, my husband didn't greet me with "hi honey, here's your rosé, how was your day?" - that bastard. I'm trying to wrap my head around a lot of things these days, and I swear I'm losing sense of reality, and what's normal and what's not. Then of course I always end up blaming myself - don't blame me, there's no one else around that I could blame. Let me tell you how my average day looks like. I wake up at 6 am, have some small breakfast and an espresso, just enough fuel to be able to drive myself to the office - and I give a twenty minute private concert to myself and the old m...

- she said to me carelessly, then turned to her piano to play another unrecognizable, yet cheerful song. We've had this conversation over a week ago, and I still can't get her words out of my head. I want to argue with her. I want to prove her wrong. I want to reply in any other way but to agree. The statistics are on her side.  Ten years ago another friend of mine wrote something in her blog that stayed in my mind ever since. Only the ones that chase love blindly can get hurt through their feelings. I desperately wanted to argue with that as well. And back then I think I did. Because I was one of them. I'm still thinking if that has changed in the past decade or if I just decided to use another marketing strategy. By now, even I can't tell.  Let's take a step back and look at the current situation. "A girl like you must have a queue of men banging on her door." "You must be too picky." "You're probably only dating the hot guys." ...